Type Delete Retype

I really like this letter

http://www.todaysletters.com/2008/08/small-metal-box.html

Planning for 2012

Ok folks, I know, I'm likely to be 1 or 2 months slower than you all - thinking hard and planning the specifics relating to 2012 only now. The fact is - I need to be myself, with no interruptions, a note book, a nice chosen pen and in a "yeah, I can so totally do this" state of mind to do this.

Indeed, a particularly good session would require a re-read of the book below, which I bought more than 10 years ago in KL and have moved along with me (Leicester, London, KL, HK and now Basel). I've just unearthed it from one of my boxes a few days ago (upon coming back from Sing) and started re-reading it. Still at the early stages of the book (hard to focus when I have a cute 4 year old tugging at my trousers to play) but already I am feeling inspired.

I had forgotten and was reminded when I opened the book that I had scribbled in it. Once in 1998 and then 10 years later: 1999 turned out to be a great year for me. I persevered and changed my lifestyle to lose close to 8 kg, which I had recklessly gained from consuming one too many roti pratha breakfasts and evening cocktails upon returning to KL in 1997. I also got my act together to chase and win a position and grant which allowed me to pursue a PhD in the UK.  2009 was another interesting year. A year of change in HK, with a number of highs and lows; I realise now, retrospectively, that the events in 2009, collectively formed the catalyst for my subsequent epiphany in 2010.

What's in store for 2012? I'm still thinking about it but it's not hard to figure out that I would be aiming for (in no particular order) a good and successful career, happy family and healthy, fashionable and zen self. Now, to work on the deets!     

 

 

Acrylics and canvas in Singapore

G treated us to an art jamming session while I was in Singapore. I focused on animal cartoons. It was a learning experience. Lessons for next time include: (1) regardless, start by sponging the background; (2) use smaller brushes -they are much easier to control and; (3) bring along a black marker to make clear outlines.  

{Realising I'm may be better off with a sponge}

{Work in progress}

{The finished product with a message delivered to a delighted receiver}

 

Sniff sniff

I'm sitting at the airport lounge waiting to board the flight back home with a lump in my throat after waving goodbye to G&T. Dangdamit - How I wish G and I live closer to each other.

We are 40

{Birthday party - Langkawi Island}

 

We (G and I) had a lovely party (organised/hosted by T and helped by E) on Langkawi Island. It was magical; a number of old close friends showed up to help us celebrate. 

I panicked about turning 40 a few months back. But that's all over now. I'm older and wiser i.e. calm and happy to be *alive* and to have so much love in my life.

I'm determined to make this year and decade the best one evah!

 

Oh - To be fit

I don't know whether you've noticed from my previous postings - Luncheons are BIG affairs here with the E's family. Meals during festive occasions are especially elaborate, involving many (and I mean many, many, many) different courses including pre-appetisers (like in the picture above) and numerous bottles of (Spanish) wine.

Last year, I didn't dare to say "gracias, no"  too many times, especially to E's Tia C and Madre who are zealous cooks, so  I ended up feeling overwhelmed and a good few pounds heavier (90% of them piled on my cheeks). This year, I'm more prepared -saying no to generous portions (having practised saying "no" at least 10x a day before we came here, in front of the miror and accompanied by a picture of E's Tia C).

I've also been much more mindful about marginal enjoyment from consumption, stopping before I feel full (even if it means leaving stuff on my plate) and going out for walks outside in the cold even when everyone else is having a siesta or watching television in the warmth of the casa. Of course - you also know about my new party trick:  to swap a glass of vino or G&T for agua con gas and choose tapas with the least amount of carbs whenever possible (harder to avoid the fried tapas).

I've not been able to do this all the time - and especially not during Christmas/New Years eve and day but this is inevitable I think.  An unexpected and big challenge for me this year is to decline the after lunch-tray of turon which typically comes with coffee. All sorts of yummy flavours - chocolate, almond, pine nuts, caramel. All calling out to be tasted. 

I don't know whether I've avoided putting on weight these past few weeks here. I do know that I'm doing generally well given the many temptations and pressure from the various family and social events. This morning, I went out for an an hour's jog - discovering the nearby park which E's family have mentioned a number of times. It was very pleasant and I plan to repeat the experience in the coming days. I'm turning 40 in two weeks time and one of my goals for 40/2012 is to be as fit as possible.

Get a haircut - done

I've not had a hair cut for at least 6 months. Maybe even longer. Pretty long time don't you think? I observed last week that perhaps it was my out- of- shape- hair that was contributing to my feeling blah about getting dressed to go out or even life in general. This, and realising I need to get myself together for next week, prompted a hair-melt-down/crisis discussion with E last Saturday night, which in turn led me to the Swiss hair salon this afternoon.  

Alor, why did I not do this sooner?  Well, aside from not noticing it was making me grumpy, it was because I was reluctant. A few reasons: (1)  I wasn't up to entering a shop to ask for an appointment, only to have the person carelessly shrug NO to me like I'm a dumb ass: because I can't speak German (as has been the case with the many nail shop I've skipped into and walk dejectedly out off); (2) I've been told so many times - "nooo...it's terribly, terribly, terribly expensive here in Swizzer ... you must go to France/Germany instead" and I listen to this because I don't want to spend more, especially as I'm not earning at the moment; (3) I don't trust strangers to cut my hair (colouring is ok), having learnt my awful lesson in HK when I was disloyal to beloved Kenji and went to see another hairdresser who butchered my hair (which led me to eat a lot of cake; I still haven't recovered). 

How it went this afternoon: Well, much better than I expected. Firstly, I could communicate with the hair stylist (yes, I was struggling to ask for an appointment in German until one of the ladies asked me whether I spoke Spanish)(no, no one spoke English). Secondly, the Spanish speaking hair stylish had nice layered long hair, so she knew exactly what I wanted. Thirdly, I  seized the opportunity and added highlights to my recently darkened hair to make me look less fierce (which is what I've been hearing lately). 

Voila. Now all I need to do is to solve my manicuring-pedicuring nails issue. 

Sharing with you my Pinterest - WIP

Home

Hair 

 

Where am I?

These last few days of not having any classes and E around, traveling to Germany and communicating with my HK mates (to tell them I would be in town) has made me confused about where I am and where I'm going to be. I realise that classes (a temporary replacement for a career) play a significant part in grounding me - it gives me a sense of purpose and without the classes (and classmates) I feel like I'm drifting.

---

I'm only now seriously thinking about what to wear for the occasion when E and I sign the official deed in Europe. Considerations: it's going to be cold and I would like to be warm; I would like to incorporate a vibe of playful and fun; I need to have the dress by 2 weeks. I've been scouring websites and my own wardrobe (I'm ashamed to tell you that I still have more than 10 new-unworn formal dresses - even after giving away half my wardrobe when leaving HK). Your creative ideas would be appreciated. Email me if you don't feel like leaving comments here.

X

Quality conversation

We are learning about Multi-Stakeholder Processes this week. Today, the subject revolved around facilitating and better dialogue including how to improve the conversation quality. Not surprisingly, "listening" came up.

The facilitator divided us into pairs and asked A to think of something really important to share with B. B's task was to not listen. I was a B. I looked away, fidgeted, asked irrelevant and distracting questions, etc. A rambled on with his monologue. We were asked to swapped roles: I was to share something worthy with A and he had to listen actively.

We had a reflection on the differences afterwards. Not surprisingly, the As admitted to feeling embarrassed, unheard, foolish, frustrated, etc, etc. A few As in the class said they tried to change subjects, style of speaking to try to garner some interest*. In the second case, the Bs admitted to feeling good (we felt important, were in our element, zone, etc). Most of us agreed that in both cases, the listener had greater power.

What stuck me most was the quality of conversation we enjoyed in the second scenario. The interaction between A and me resulted in a richer discussion on the topic (we were talking about this book). Note to self: there is a difference to "polite listening" and "active listening" and I should focus on the latter if I want higher quality or more meaningful conversations (and therefore relationships, life, etc).  

* Regarding trying to be heard: I was surprised to discover that some of the As persisted to be heard: adopting different speaking styles to be heard, changing stories, etc, despite knowing it was a futile exercise as our (B) mandate was to simply NOT listen. The As explained that it was a self preservation exercise: they did so to avoid feeling worthless, invisible etc. They didn't see it as a B issue but their own personal ones. This made me think about relationships how we(I) can easily assume the A personality: re-working on ourselves (myself) - trying to improve delivery, content, etc, not realising that it's futile given that B's mandate is not to be available, listen, etc.